so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
