used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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