shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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