why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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