Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
