So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
