I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Randomize
