Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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