Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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