Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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