My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
