so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There's always time for handjobs
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
