upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
