Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
