'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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