What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
