Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
