There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
