Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
