I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
