dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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