I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
