Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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