Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
