wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
