you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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