Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
