i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
