I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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