Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We are all done wearing pants today
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
