some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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