Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
