No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
