can we get nightvision for the apartment?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
