I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
