Christians are straight up FREAKS
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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