there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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