im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
