There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
