We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
