i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
