considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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