Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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