Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
