You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The Olympian is in my bed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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