I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
