he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
