New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
