True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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