Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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