You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
