So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
