THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
